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A post called ‘AITA for divorcing my wife for being a sahm’ has gone viral on Reddit and left everyone divided over marital roles.
It was posted in the AITA thread this week which means ‘Am I the a**hole?’ and sees people asking if they were in the wrong.
‘AITA for divorcing my wife for being a sahm’
The Reddit post begins with a 30-year-old man explaining that he married his wife five years ago and they have been together since high school.
“I loved how smart, ambitious and driven she was. We bonded over academics and nerd stuff. We both landed good jobs in the same city right after college,” he wrote.
They had a baby three years into their marriage and made the decision to send the child to daycare when it was six months old.
However, when the baby reached six months, his wife refused to go to work, saying they could afford to get by if he picked up more work.
She also argued that her being a stay at home would be better for the child, but he refused as he would have to work way more hours and be exhausted.
He suggested each working different shifts and taking it in turns to look after the baby, but she said she needs to be with the child all the time.
Divorce results in 50:50 custody
It caused a huge fight and his wife quit her job, but still demanded he do housework as “stay at home mom deserves breaks too”.
“This dynamics really made me resent her. I tried communicating many times. The load of bills and insane work hours along with not being able to enjoy time with my baby all deeply upset me,” he wrote.
He filed for divorce and the court gave him 50:50 custody with no alimony or child support as he proved it was her own decision to stay home and he never agreed.
The man moved back in with his parents as they have space for the baby too, and his ex-wife is now struggling and living pay check to pay check.
The baby stays with its grandmother when he works and now goes to daycare when it’s with his ex-wife even though his mother offered to look after it.
“My ex-wife and her friends are calling me AH for divorcing her over being a SAHM and not providing any support,” the post concludes.
Post divides people on Reddit
The post has left people on Reddit divided as some say the man is NTA (not the a**hole) and others argue she shouldn’t be punished for wanting to be a stay at home mom.
One person wrote: “NTA – if she would have had a conversation that took your feelings into account, you would still be married and the baby would’ve been in daycare.”
“Divorcing her because she decided to be a SAHM would make you the asshole. Divorcing her because she expected you to work triple what you worked before plus cook and clean and then look after everything on the weekend is NTA,” said another.
A third person added: “NTA as well and I have to give OP mad credit here. He laid out his feelings (something men struggle with) and laid out what needed to happen if it stayed as is and followed through.”
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