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Reddit users are showing immense support to a man who asked ‘AITA for telling my wife it is time to go back to work’ and the ending of his story will take you by surprise.
The Reddit post attracted one-sided opinions until the husband highlighted issues in his relationship with his wife and users think he’s reached the end of his tether. The husband says comments under his post made him reach a “realization” that was much needed for his own good.
Husband asks ‘AITA for telling my wife it is time to go back to work’
The Reddit user’s wife has been out of work since 2018. She stopped working after she had a meltdown in her fifth year of teaching. She has since been in therapy and the couple started marriage counseling during the pandemic because of Covid.
As the husband is the only earning member of the family since his wife doesn’t have a job, he has been working extra hours at work, clocking in over 18 hours a day sometimes to save enough for their retirement as well as to handle the expenses of the house.
They sought the advice of a marriage counselor when his wife complained that he was pushing her too hard to go back to work, while he had to work extra shifts to make up for her share of the joint income.
They had another fight recently and when the Reddit user told his wife to go back to work and she said it wasn’t the right time yet. She has made great progress and by rushing in, she would be losing everything she’s worked toward in the last five years.
The wife broke down and blamed her husband for belittling her mental issues. The husband argued the added onus may cause him to have a meltdown, but he doesn’t have the luxury of not working like his wife.
Wife says the husband’s trying to manipulate her into taking up a job
Not only does the husband go to work, but he comes home to no dinner. The couple either orders food from restaurants or resorts to pre-made in the oven.
The wife was upset that her husband was complaining about their expenses when his individual earnings were more than their combined income, but she failed to realize he was investing in extra hours of work to earn for the two of them.
Apparently, the therapist also feels the husband’s issues aren’t as serious as his wife’s. When he suggested taking up a part-time job that could help him relax a little, the wife and therapist said he should instead cut back on his savings for retirement in addition to holding off on loans and managing the expenses until his wife is better.
The husband wanted them to downsize into a flat and rent their house out to support the mortgage, but the therapist advised against it as the change could be too drastic for his wife to fathom.
The husband finally realized he had a life of his own and he couldn’t clear his wife’s debts forever while she supported herself on his sole income.
In the update, the Reddit user revealed that he’s meeting with a lawyer to consider all his options as he’s decided to move out of the house he and his wife lived in. He will be staying with a friend until he sorts things out.
Users think he made the right choice
Reddit users have seconded the husband’s decision to walk out of the marriage and focus on his life.
“Despite the blow-up, I say NTA. You sound burned out and pushed beyond capacity. Five years of up to 84-hour weeks? Do you sleep?,” asked one.
Another added: “Ask her what about your mental and physical health. Also, are you sure the therapist is actually validating everything like this? Sounds a lot like your wife is just saying ‘but my therapist says…’ to sort of add weight to what she says. And to accuse you of manipulation is ridiculous.”
“It may be time to call this an unsustainable relationship and let it go,” said another.
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